‘I am not good looking, I am just gross’: Tones and I reveals her overnight fame left her feeling like she should ‘hate herself’ – and she even became too anxious to go to the supermarket
Tones and I has revealed that the first year of her skyrocketing fame led to her feeling like she was ‘gross’ and unattractive.
The singer, whose real name is Toni Watson, become an overnight smash success thanks to her 2019 number one hit song, Dance Monkey.
Afterwards, the 27-year-old says she was left struggling with crippling self doubt and anxiety.
Fears: Tones and I (pictured) has revealed that the first year of her skyrocketing fame led to her feeling like she was ‘gross’ and unattractive. The singer, whose real name is Toni Watson, become an overnight smash success thanks to her 2019 number one hit song, Dance Monkey
She told Carrie & Tommy radio show on Friday: ‘People kind of want you to hate yourself a little bit. Busking no one cared what you looked like.
‘I never looked at myself and thought anything. And through that whole first year, I thought I am gross, I am not good looking, I am just gross I should hate myself.’
Toni says she worked hard to talk herself out of that negative thinking but it has continued to affect her life.
She said on Friday: ‘People kind of want you to hate yourself a little bit. Busking no one cared what you looked like. I never looked at myself and thought anything. And through that whole first year, I thought I am gross, I am not good looking, I am just gross I should hate myself’
‘I thought, “No you shouldn’t think like that, don’t be stupid. Don’t throw away your integrity. Don’t change anything about yourself.
‘But it was a long time and I don’t think anyone is prepared for that. I was really caught off guard.
‘Not being able to go to the grocery store on your own because I get super bad anxiety. Not being able to go busking, which was my ultimate goal at the start
She added: ‘I don’t think anyone is prepared for that. I was really caught off guard. ‘Not being able to go to the grocery store on your own because I get super bad anxiety. Not being able to go busking, which was my ultimate goal at the start’
‘Things I cant do that people think you can, because I have anxiety’.
Tones and I is currently celebrating the release of her debut album, Welcome to the Madhouse.
On Friday, she spoke to Today’s entertainment reporter Brooke Boney about the creative struggles she had while creating her the album last year.
The Fly Away singer explained she felt the pressure to complete and release her album by a certain date, which impacted her song writing and creativity.
Better attitude: Toni says she worked hard to talk herself out of that negative thinking but it has continued to affect her life. ‘I thought, “No you shouldn’t think like that, don’t be stupid. Don’t throw away your integrity. Don’t change anything about yourself’
The hitmaker said that her debut album was meant to be released last year, but she decided to postpone it because she didn’t think it was ready.
She revealed that eight tracks she wrote were not good enough for her, so she went ended up reworking them.
‘I was writing for the album in a way that was so unhealthy. This song finished, it doesn’t matter how good it is, put it on the album,’ she recalled.
‘I was going to go full honest with this album, be completely open and raw and that’s what I did,’ she proudly added.
How it started: Tones And I began busking in Byron Bay in September 2017. It was during her days as a street performer that she met talent manager Jackson Walkden-Brown