Anorexia survivor, 21, became so ill she weighed just five stone and refused to chew gum

A Scottish anorexia survivor who became so ill she weighed just five stone and refused to chew gum to avoid the calories claims bodybuilding saved her life – and she now exposes internet trolls who brand her muscles ‘fat’.

Alix Small, 21, from Forfar, Scotland, first began battling eating disorders at just 15 years old, when she went from healthy eating to extreme starvation that saw her weight plummet as she struggled with anorexia and then bulimia.

The keen gymnast had always been mindful of watching what she ate, but in the grips of her illness she struggled to even eat an orange and refused to chew gum for fear of the calories, becoming so tired she had to have naps in the day.

It was three years into her fight when Alix discovered bodybuilding and threw herself into the sport. After an incredible turnaround, she now eats an almost 6,000 calorie diet to bulk up ahead of her professional debut this summer.

Now the online coach has more than 66,000 followers on TikTok and uses her massive platform to hit back at trolls who brand her ‘a chunky’ or ‘fat’.

In her videos, she exposes and shames her tormentors, urging them not to ‘tear people down’ on the internet and to think before they post their hate.

‘Bodybuilding saved my life,’ said Alix. ‘I’ve always been somebody that puts a lot of pressure on myself. I always want to achieve the highest goal I can achieve in something I do.

‘I think [trolls] don’t think before they open their mouth. They don’t know where people have come from. 

‘If you’re coming from somewhere that’s not the bodybuilding industry, seeing a female with that amount of muscle mass, you probably look at their overall size and think ‘she looks fat’.

‘They don’t know what they’re speaking about. They don’t know my story.

‘If I’d have seen something like [my TikTok] when I was going through the eating disorder, it’d help to drive me forward too.

‘To know I’m helping so many people is absolutely amazing. It means the world to inspire people.’

Four years ago, Alix was still in the grips of bulimia and fainted regularly due to skipping meals.

She would struggle to eat one slice of toast for breakfast and at her worst, had to go home for naps at lunchtime because she was so weak.

‘I was a gymnast when growing up and I always put a lot of pressure on myself,’ explained Alix. ‘I always had a thing with food and weight, but it didn’t really get bad until I was about 15.

‘I was a patient for anorexia first, then as I started to put weight on, that’s where the bulimia came from. 

‘I started off with a normal diet that would be deemed as ‘healthy’, but started eating less and less until I would go days without eating.

‘I was still at school so my mum would make sure I had eaten breakfast, [but] this soon became a 50 calorie slice of toast that I began hiding.

‘I became obsessed with running so I would skip lunch and run at lunch time until I couldn’t.

‘[Then] I would go home at lunch time. I was so drained of energy I would sleep for 45 minutes then go back to school.

‘For tea, I would eat a potato and Quorn mince with no sauce. It came to the point where I was terrified to even eat an orange.

‘It became less and less. I wouldn’t eat chewing gum because of the calories in it either. I started to faint a lot and couldn’t stand much and this was where I began to get help.

‘At this point, I wasn’t doing gymnastics anymore, with trying to recover.

‘I then started suffering with bulimia because I didn’t want to keep the food down. I was then severely underweight again with bulimia. I suffered through that until I was 18.’

It was only after a sudden ‘switch’ in her mentality that Alix returned to the gym in 2018 and eventually met a friend who introduced her to bodybuilding.  

By eating more and focusing on being the best at her sport, Alix claims she was ‘pushed’ to overcome her eating disorder.

Now, Alix is preparing for her professional debut and packs in six meals a day – enjoying everything from Coco Pops to burgers and chips to bulk up.

Alix said: ‘I started training then started my personal training qualifications. I felt there was a massive part of my life missing because I’d been into sports since I could walk.

‘On the course, I met a bodybuilder who said ‘why don’t you do bodybuilding?’.

‘I knew I wanted to do whatever I was doing 100 per cent and I fell in love with the sport.

‘You have a set diet but as time goes on, you learn to relax more with food.. You are on a strict diet but you are pushing the boundaries. On your off season, you have to eat more to grow.

‘The highest amount of food I eat on a daily basis in my off season is just under 6,000 calories a day. You obviously need to build up your metabolism to that point so you don’t get really fat.

‘It’s called the “off season,” but it’s really the improvement season. That’s where the improvements are made.

‘The goal of becoming a better bodybuilder pushed me forward to overcoming my eating disorder. It was a switch overnight. I still suffer with the demons and I still have bad days.

‘I’m in my off season, and they are rare, but I still have those days where I get thoughts of making myself sick and that comes from feeling so full.

‘But I work against those triggers because the goal is so much bigger. I always think about my ‘why’ and that stops the trigger.’

‘You do worry about getting fat and I do still suffer with body dysmorphia. Some days I’ll wake up and see myself as how I am, then other days I’ll think ‘oh my god, I look so fat today’, but bodybuilding, the goal in my mind, always helps to drive me forward. 

‘At my lowest, I was 33 kilos – and I’m 5ft 8. To put into perspective, I’m 77 kilos just now.

‘I’ve doubled my body weight and found strength in my mind and body in a way a lot of people wouldn’t.

‘I’ve been fortune enough to have a garage gym to train in. I can train and progress towards my goal and I’m 21 weeks away from my pro debut in Spain.’

Since launching her TikTok page at the beginning of the year, Alix has wowed her fans with videos of her amazing gymnastics routines and heavy lifting.

The International Federation of Bodybuilding and Fitness professional has admitted that female bodybuilding is rarely seen – but hopes her videos will show anorexia and bulimia sufferers that there is hope for recovery.

Alix said: ‘Bodybuilding [for women] isn’t something that’s talked about and that’s why I made the [videos] on TikTok. It’s also a control thing, like eating disorders, but this is helping [me] get better.

‘My best advice [to other eating disorder sufferers] is to never give up. There is a light at the end of the tunnel – as dark as it may get. You’ve got to keep going.’