Priyanka Chopra Jonas felt ‘abandoned’ when her parents left her at boarding school when she was in third-grade.
The Indian actress, 38, spoke about her childhood away from home, and what it meant to look back on that time, in an interview with Elle ahead of the release of her autobiography Unfinished.
‘Being sent away to school in the third grade was something I thought I had put to bed, but I was compelled to reconcile with for the book,’ she explained.
Abandoned: Priyanka Chopra admitted that being at boarding school made her feel like she was ‘abandoned’ by her mother while talking to Elle about her new memoir Unfinished. She’s seen in 2019 above
The star was placed at La Martiniere Girls’ Private School in Lucknow, India, a four-hour train ride from her hometown of Bareilly.
And instantly Priyanka – who is wed to pop star Nick Jonas – wanted nothing more than to go home, remembering longing for her mother to take her back.
‘What I remember vividly is the feeling of being abandoned—a feeling that lasted for a long time,’ the Quantico actress said.
Visits with her mother only made it worse, making Chopra less willing to settle in to her new home.
Slowly she began to get used to school, but Priyanka was still processing an array of emotions.
Childhood: The star was placed at La Martiniere Girls’ Private School in Lucknow, India, a four-hour train ride from her hometown of Bareilly, when she was in third grade
Homesick: ‘What I remember vividly is the feeling of being abandoned—a feeling that lasted for a long time,’ the Quantico actress said. She’s seen with her father above
‘I didn’t understand why I had been sent away,’ the Baywatch star said. ‘I also didn’t understand why [her mother] couldn’t visit as often anymore.’
Even more confusing was the fact Chopra didn’t know why she was sent away.
She veered from blaming her little brother Sid for taking her attention to her own ‘bad behavior,’ like childhood tantrums.
It would never be clear, as Priyanka writes in the book: ‘My mother didn’t explain her reasons for sending me to boarding school, maybe because she didn’t fully understand them herself.’
After a while Chopra began to come out of her shell and got involved with school activities like singing, dancing, drama, and public speaking – helping her hone her performance skills early in life.
Reasons unclear: She worried her little brother Sid was the reason she was sent away at times, seen together above
Charisma: After a while Chopra began to come out of her shell and got involved with school activities like singing, dancing, drama, and public speaking – helping her hone her performance skills early in life. She’s seen at 17 above
All of these revelations have made Priyanka ‘terrified’ of releasing her memoir.
The former Miss World explained: ‘This is not a memoir of: “Here is me and my laurels and achievements.” This book is me dissecting my failures, my vulnerabilities, my emotions, the times I went back to my room and cried on my pillow. That surprised me.
‘I never discuss this stuff. I don’t even discuss it with my family and here I am discussing it with the world, so I’m terrified.’
Priyanka even joked that she’s been having second thoughts about releasing Unfinished.
Speaking to the Guardian newspaper, the actress quipped: ‘It’s all just so personal. It’s shocking to me. Ah, I’m going to pull it back.’
Beauty queen: She would go on to become Miss World in 2000
Deep breaths: Priyanka has said she’s ‘terrified’ of releasing her memoir because of how vulnerable she is in the book
Although she’s now one of the world’s most in-demand actresses, she struggled with her self-esteem during her school years.
She previously shared: ‘I had no self-esteem.’
‘I couldn’t control my frizzy hair and I was called ‘brownie’ and ‘curry’. I didn’t know what being Indian meant as a teenager in Boston. I knew that I was different and was super-conscious of my clothes.’
Despite this, Priyanka suggested that modern-day Indian-Americans have become more vocal than their predecessors.
She explained: ‘Somehow, when I was in America going to school, for a lot of my Indian-American friends the subliminal message was: “Be invisible, don’t get into trouble, do your work.” Our parents came here and worked really hard and the only way they survived the move was because they put their heads down.
‘Now my generation is, like, “No, I have aspirations and I want to have a voice.”‘
Beneath it all: Though glamorous as can be she previously shared ‘I had no self-esteem.’ Chopra Jonas is seen in 2019 abovee