Man shares brutally honest advert for his ‘s**t’ and haunted’ Volvo V70

People often find themselves being misled by adverts promising ‘perfect’ products online, only to find out the real product is not quite so shiny and new.

But one man had no intention of misleading buyers when he penned his brutally honest advert for his car, where he likened the Volvo to ‘a skip full of dog turds’.

Tommy Rayson, 34, from Truro, Cornwall, put his 2004 Volvo V70 up for sale on Facebook Marketplace and eBay in the hope of securing more than the ‘generous’ scrap value of £198 for his vehicle.

In the advert, he eagerly begged anyone to take the beaten-down blue car off his hands, hilariously saying the ‘piece of s**t’ vehicle needs a ‘Gemma Collins portion of love’.

Tommy Rayson, from Truro, Cornwall, did not mislead buyers in his brutally honest Facebook and Ebay advert for his 2004 Volvo V70, where he likens it to ‘a skip full of dog turds’

The father did not shy away from pointing out that ‘everything’ was wrong with the car, including being potentially ‘haunted and ‘next level filthy’ like a farm vehicle.

Commenting on a white covering over one of the car’s windows, he admitted that he had no idea whether the window was jammed shut or missing.

Tommy hilariously quipped that he hoped that someone had ‘stolen’ the car while he was writing his unusually realistic advert, as he begged someone to give it a home.

The advert candidly read: ‘Hey everyone! Is anybody after this absolute weapon? And by weapon I mean piece of s**t.

‘It’s a Volvo V70 on a 54 plate with 374k on the clock. You read it right- 374k!

‘It needs a lot of love, and I mean a Gemma Collins portion of love. It has zero history, vibrates like a Whacker plate when idling, and I’m hoping that someone has stolen it while I’m writing this advert.

In the realistic advert, Tommy, 34, eagerly begged anyone to take the blue car off his hands, hilariously saying the 'piece of s**t' vehicle needs a 'Gemma Collins portion of love'

In the realistic advert, Tommy, 34, eagerly begged anyone to take the blue car off his hands, hilariously saying the ‘piece of s**t’ vehicle needs a ‘Gemma Collins portion of love’

‘It’s filthy inside and out, like next level filthy. Like a farm vehicle. Or a skip full of dog turds.

‘I actually don’t know whether the window is stuck closed or missing.’

Tommy also drew attention to the few positives of the car, including the fact that the ‘brakes work’, before joking that the Volvo came with a ‘priest’s blessing that you’ll get home alive’.

The pro-salesman generously started the bidding at Ebay for a mere 99p, but asked that nobody made an offer less than £198, which was the quoted scrap value for the Volvo.

His advert continued: ‘It’s a diesel estate with MOT until August with a TowBar that starts and drives and the brakes work. Cruise control, heated seats and full leather.

The pro-salesman generously started the bidding at Ebay for a mere 99p, but asked that nobody made a big less than £198, which was the scrap value he was offered for the car

The pro-salesman generously started the bidding at Ebay for a mere 99p, but asked that nobody made a big less than £198, which was the scrap value he was offered for the car

‘Comes with one key, V5 and a priest’s blessing that you’ll get home alive. I’ve actually just driven it from Penryn to Truro and was exciting.

‘Come take it away please as it’s attracting rats and I think it’s haunted.

‘I thought it only fitting to list at 99p start and give people a chance to snap it up before it goes to the scrappy. 

‘I feel at that mileage it deserves a crack at some sort of gumball rally, or epic long way round for the brave.

‘Please don’t ask what’s wrong with it- just presume everything. And there’s no best price. I am however open to swaps. 

The father did not shy away from pointing out that 'everything' was wrong with the car, including being potentially 'haunted and 'next level filthy' like a farm vehicle

The father did not shy away from pointing out that ‘everything’ was wrong with the car, including being potentially ‘haunted and ‘next level filthy’ like a farm vehicle

Unbelievably, the advert began to rake in eighteen generous bids on Ebay including his highest offer of £280 from one dedicated shopper with two days still left to bid

And Tommy has revealed that his less than positive advert has already secured himself a buyer, with his Volvo being set to move to his new home on Sunday

Unbelievably, the advert raked in eighteen generous bids on Ebay including his highest offer of £280, and he has managed to secure a buyer for the downtrodden Volvo

‘I have been offered a generous Scrap value of £198 so no offers less than that please.’ 

Unbelievably, the advert raked in eighteen generous bids on Ebay, including his highest offer of £280 from one dedicated shopper, with two days still left to bid.

And Tommy has now revealed that his unusual advert has already attracted a buyer, with his rundown Volvo being set to move to his new home on Sunday.