Howard Donald has admitted he feels ‘a hell of a lot of guilt’ for leaving his ex-partners to look after their children.
The Take That singer, 52, is father to Grace, 22, and Lola, 15, from two previous relationships, as well as Bowie, five, and Dougie, three, with his wife Katie Halil.
Speaking on Dave Berry’s Dadpod, he said: ‘I hold a lot of guilt. I hold a hell of a lot of guilt for leaving my ex-partners and leaving my child for them to look after.
Honest: Howard Donald has admitted he feels ‘a hell of a lot of guilt’ for leaving his ex-partners to look after their children
‘Obviously though, I’ve not been one of these fathers that’s said, “Right, I’ve got a new partner, I don’t want anything to do with this now. I don’t want anything to do with that child.”‘
Howard’s eldest daughter Grace was born to Victoria Piddington while Lola’s mother is Marie-Christine Musswessels.
Despite his sense of guilt, Howard told how he has always made an effort to be supportive of his kids.
He said: ‘I’ve always been there, I’ve always felt so guilty about it, I’ve always been there for them. I’ve been there, especially my daughter, because my second partner lived in Germany, I used to go back and forwards to see Lola every two weeks and stay there for three nights and, in the beginning when I didn’t have an apartment, I was staying in a hotel for three nights and had to take my daughter to the hotel to stay there with her.’
Fatherhood: The Take That singer, 52, is father to Grace, 22, and Lola, 15, from two previous relationships, as well as Bowie, five, and Dougie, three, with his wife Katie Halil
Howard, who married Katie in 2015, was also honest about his feelings towards being a father to young children again while in his 50s, admitting he has ‘struggled’.
He said: ‘I think, at 52, which is what I am, I’ve really struggled in the 50s being a father. I’ve actually really taken it physically and mentally, draining for me…
‘I would advise to fathers who maybe already have children that may be in their teenage years, don’t do it. In (your) 50’s don’t do it. That’s my personal experience.
‘I’m sure there’s people out there in their 50’s that have found it a doddle, maybe they’ve got, you know, babysitters and nannies and stuff like that, maybe not, maybe they’re really struggling as well, but, I’ve really struggled with it and I would never advise anyone in their 50’s to have young children.’
Howard also shared that his daughter Lola has moved in with him, his wife Katie and their children.
He said: ‘My 15-year-old has just decided to come and live in England and now she lives with me. We’ve put her in a school, and it all happened very quickly… I’m learning again because I’ve never brought her up underneath the same roof.
He said: ‘I hold a lot of guilt. I hold a hell of a lot of guilt for leaving my ex-partners and leaving my child for them to look after’ (pictured in 2019)
‘So, all of a sudden, she comes here at 15, which is the worst age ever, apparently, so I’m told. So that’s another thing that throws something else into the works as well as a four-year-old and three-year-old.
‘But the amazing thing is, she wanted to come over here and be in England because she wanted to start again, year ten and do her GCSE’s here, but she really wanted to be with her family.
‘You know, she wanted to be together where her brothers are here and her, her other sister’s here who’s in London and I think it’s really good for her.’
The singer also talked openly about mental health amongst men, saying: ‘There’s a lot of people suffering behind closed doors that don’t wanna talk about it and that’s, kind of, what I’ve done, you know?
‘When I’ve been struggling with children, you know, your friend will talk to you about and you, sort of, hide it a little bit.’
Family: Howard also shared that his daughter Lola has moved in with him, his wife Katie Halil and their children (pictured with Katie in 2018)
While he has a hugely successful career as part of Take That, Howard insisted he has always put his children first.
He said: ‘I’ve always put my kids before Take That, always. I know sometimes you gotta go out there and you gotta be in Take That and you’ve gotta be away. But, my kids are always on my mind before Take That are on my mind.
‘It’s so important to be like that and not lose track about, you know, who you actually are, which is a dad and trying to be a good dad… it’s been a struggle in the past, being away, you know, recording in Los Angeles, or wherever you’re recording, being on tour.
‘The great thing is now that, whenever we’ve been on tour, I’ve always put it in so that, you know, I’ve got a mini bus picking them up from the train station, come over to the hotel and they’re there for ten days.’
Dave Berry’s Dadpod is available to download every Thursday from Apple Podcasts, Spotify, the Absolute Radio app, absoluteradio.co.uk, and all mainstream podcast providers.
Howard said: ‘She wanted to be together where her brothers are here and her, her other sister’s here who’s in London and I think it’s really good for her’ (pictured in 2018)