Kristen Wiig had three years of IVF before using a surrogate

Kristen Wiig opened up about what an ‘isolating experience’ dealing with fertility struggles can be. 

The extremely private star revealed how she went through three years of IVF treatment before deciding to welcome kids via a surrogate in a new interview for InStyle.

Wiig, 46, said there ‘was a lot of stress and heartache’ during the IVF process, admitting: ‘It’s hard not to personalize it when you get a negative result.’

Kristen and fiance Avi Rothman welcomed twins in January with the help of a surrogate.

But it was a long journey for the couple, who began trying for a family years ago. 

‘We’ve been together for about five years, and three of them were spent in an IVF haze,’ she explained. ‘Emotionally, spiritually, and medically, it was probably the most difficult time in my life.’ 

‘I wasn’t myself. There are so many emotions that go with it — you’re always waiting by the phone and getting test results, and it was just bad news after bad news. Occasionally there would be a good month, but then it was just more bad news. There was a lot of stress and heartache.’

Wiig said she had a difficult time not blaming herself for their fertility hurdles, something that was particularly isolating. 

‘You go through so much self-deprecation, and you feel like your partner may be seeing you in a different way and all this other stuff we make up in our heads,’ she told the magazine.

But Kristen realized she wasn’t alone when she started broaching the topic with other women.

‘When I did talk about it, every time I said that I was going through IVF, I would meet someone who was either going through it, about to go through it, or had a friend who just did it. It’s like this underground community that’s talked about but not talked about.’

Though initially hesitant about surrogacy, the Bridesmaids actress realized it was okay to admit it was time for help.

‘I remember when our doctor mentioned going other routes, and I was just like, “Nope. Don’t ever bring that up again. I’m getting pregnant. I’m doing this.” I finally realized that I just needed help. And, thank God, we found the most amazing surrogate.’

Still, it was ‘bittersweet’ for the comedienne, she admitted. 

‘So many things were bittersweet. I was over the moon feeling them kick for the first time, but then I would get in my head and ask myself all these questions, like, “Why couldn’t I do this?” At the same time I would tell myself it didn’t matter. She was giving us the greatest gift, and I just wanted them to get here!’

But now, she has zero regrets about how they welcomed their little ones into the world.

‘Overall it was a very beautiful thing, and now that I’m on the other side, I wouldn’t have had it any other way,’ Kristen said. ‘I’ve always believed that things happen the way they’re supposed to happen, and this is how [our babies] were supposed to get here… Ultimately, I realized that I’m very fortunate. I’m grateful. I’m a different person now.’

Kristen and Avi have been hunkered down since the arrival of their ‘munchkins,’ something which she joked gave them a head-start on quarantine.

‘We’ve sort of been quarantining since January because of the babies,’ she said. ‘We’re nesting, and we’re tired. Having two nine-month-olds is a lot! But they’re growing, and I can’t wait to see them every morning. 

‘It’s not all just lying around and smiling at babies, though. It’s overwhelming to think about everyone else who’s struggling, and it’s hard to be good knowing that.’ 

Kristen and Avi were first seen with their twins in June, a full six-months after their little ones’ birth. 

Wiig ignited rumors she was starting a family when she thanked her own mother for ‘preparing me to be a mom myself’ during a Mother’s Day sketch on SNL last month.

She and Avi have been dating since 2016 and were engaged last year. Kristen was previously married to actor Hayes Hargrove from 2005 to 2009.