Paloma Faith has shot down claims that she’s raising her three-year-old daughter gender neutral, days after finally revealing her child is a girl.
The 38-year-old singer, who shares her sole offspring with partner Leyman Lahcin, had previously kept the gender of her daughter under wraps, leading to speculation that she had opted to raise her child outside of any definitions.
However, when asked by the Radio Times what made her finally reveal the toddler’s gender, she explained: ‘I was misunderstood – the media reported that I wasn’t dictating gender stereotypes.
Clarification: Paloma Faith has shot down claims that she’s raising her three-year-old daughter gender neutral, days after finally revealing her child is a girl. Pictured in September
‘True, I don’t encourage gender rigidity with toys, but really, I was traumatised by the birth and protective of our privacy.
‘I wanted her to develop into herself before the world decided who she was. I felt like a lioness. She makes me look at the world in a way I’ve neglected for a long time.’
Paloma’s interview comes days after she admitted to having abortions in the past and discussed her miscarriage last year in a candid chat about motherhood.
My girl: The 38-year-old singer, who shares her sole offspring with partner Leyman Lahcin, had previously kept the gender of her daughter under wraps. Pictured in January 2017
The singer also revealed that her three-year-old child is a girl as she to author Giovanna Fletcher, 35, on the new series of her Happy Mum Happy Baby podcast.
In the poignant chat, Paloma reflected on falling pregnant by accident in her youth, compared with her struggle to conceive now that she is in her late 30s.
Paloma said: ‘In the past I’d been very fertile and I’d had moments when I was too young to have a baby where I’d chosen not to have it.
‘And I felt very fertile. And when I met my partner I felt very different with him than I felt with most people.’
Paloma went on to welcome her daughter – whose name she has not disclosed – in December 2016, and has since tried to have more children with French artist Leyman, 33.
Happy days: She shares her daughter, three, with partner Leyman Lahcine. Pictured in 2018
She said: ‘Last year I was trying again and it was strange because once my daughter turned 18 months I suddenly was like, I want another one.
‘This is the best. Then I had a miscarriage and it’s sort of an ongoing thing. It’s tense. It’s not very sexy.
‘I have a scar that isn’t healing properly from my caesarian so it’s creating a bit of a toxic atmosphere which is also quite hard.’
Paloma also admitted she felt ‘depleted and depressed’ while at home with her daughter but became invigorated when she began working again.
Speaking about life as a working mum, the singer and actress said: ‘I have so much respect for the women who stay at home, I just don’t know how they do it. Because, it’s harder. It’s harder than going to work.’
Candid: Paloma recently admitted to having abortions in the past and discussed her 2019 miscarriage in a candid chat about motherhood
On the importance of having space away from your child, Paloma said: ‘I think it took a year before I felt like my baby and I could be two people. I felt like I gave myself away for a year and I didn’t enjoy giving myself away.’
Giovanna then noted: ‘Which is funny, when you think about the sort of mum that you thought you were going to be, and how nurturing you are as a person.’
Paloma responded: ‘Well, I felt that I couldn’t do those things because physical stuff like I felt depleted, I felt depressed mentally, and I feel like that’s why I’m really loving it now because I’m better…
‘And I love the balance I have between working, I’m the breadwinner, and I get to go away from my child which is important for parents to do, and come back and I have energy and I know she loves it.’
Giovanna asked: ‘Do you feel like actually going away and coming back allows you to be creative with her, whereas if you were in it the whole time?’
Uh oh: When asked whether she feels ‘mum guilt’, she said, ‘All the time, and I feel like I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t’
Paloma went on: ‘Yeah I do, I think it’s really important. The thing I’ve missed most in lockdown is nursery because I think that space so I can actually put an activity together, and receive a cardboard box and not just see it as a cardboard box!…
‘I love that and I’m good at that, but you can’t just do that, it’s impossible. A lot of parents in the lockdown are feeling that pressure to constantly be informative and educational and have all these ideas…
‘I just don’t think when it’s day in, day out, especially with more than one, that you can be expected to do that and it’s the space I have, that makes me the one who is like that, because I go away and I get invigorated’.
When asked whether she feels ‘mum guilt’, she said: ‘All the time, and I feel like I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t…
‘I feel so passionate about my work as a musician and an actress, I feel almost like a responsibility to keep doing that because I know that there are people waiting for it and like it and it’s been about 11/12 years in the public eye…
A passion: ‘I feel so passionate about my work as a musician and an actress,’ the star said, as she spoke about the ‘responsibility’ she feels to keep producing work
‘I’ve got fans that remember me from when they were ten and now they’re twenty one, and they’re sort of like I’ve grown up with you! Where are you! I need the next album or whatever…
‘So I feel that, and then I also feel like every time I leave I’m taking something away from her.
‘But I’ve started trying to feel differently about that, and I’ve started also, I think this is really important that working mum’s do this, but I’ve started to come home and talking about why I love my work today…
‘And I think it’s important for her to hear what I did and why it makes me happy, and I’ve started to hear how that’s coming through because she’s like, ‘when I’m bigger, I might do this! And I’ll come and tell you what I did!’ and it’s really going in…
‘I think that’s important that I also have so much respect for the women who stay at home, I just don’t know how they do it. Because, it’s harder. It’s harder than going to work…
Speaking about her most memorable moment as a working mum, Paloma detailed: ‘I remember going on that tour I was telling you about, and I walked on stage in front of 20,000 people and my baby was asleep on the tour bus…
‘I was just winding myself up on the side of the stage thinking ‘is she waking up’ and I text the girl who was looking after her, is she awake?…
‘And she said no, and I was walked on stage in front of that many people and I just burst our crying! I didn’t event do the first song! And they were looking at me like, this is a bit of a weird start!…
‘And I as like, ‘I’ve just come off maternity leave, I’m an emotional wreck!’ everyone started clapping, and I was like ‘I’m really sorry, but things just got really real in my life, and I can’t stop thinking about’…
‘It got to the point where half way through the gig I was like, ‘Hold on a sec, I’m just going to text!’ and I was on the stage at the O2 and I text the girl!…
‘And everyone was laughing about it, and they liked it! They were loving it, she sent me a picture of the baby asleep, and I was like, ‘oh just got a picture, let’s go on! What’s the next song!’
Paloma has been in a relationship with Leyman since early 2013. She was previously married to taxidermist Rian Hayes but they divorced in 2005, just one year after tying the knot.
Mum: Speaking about her experiences as a working mum, Paloma detailed, ‘I remember going on tour… I walked on stage in front of 20,000 people and my baby was asleep on the tour bus’