Growing up, the story of the starfish stuck with filmmaker Tyler Gildin.
The parable – a boy saves a starfish stranded on the beach by throwing it back into the water – was told often at his summer camp. Years later, Gildin was astonished when he discovered his grandfather, Herb, recounting the tale at a pivotal moment: Herb’s reunion with the Swedish family that took him in as a child to escape the Nazis.
‘When I heard that exact same story, it gave me goose bumps,’ Gildin told DailyMail.com. ‘It seemed kind of surreal – how much overlap there was of those principles.’
Herb, a German Jew, was 10-years-old when he and his older sisters, Cele and Margaret, made a daunting train trip by themselves to go live with strangers in Sweden. After two years with their foster families, the trio made the grueling journey to be reunited with their parents in Brooklyn, and Herb went on to found a successful lighting business with his family.
While he always knew his grandfather had a backstory, Gildin said it wasn’t until Cele died in February 2017 and Herb gave her eulogy that he realized he needed to chronicle Herb’s history. He said: ‘As soon as we left that funeral… I felt how I have not captured this before.’
Gildin’s documentary film – titled The Starfish – tells the story of his grandfather, Herb, who died after its completion on May 19, 2019 at the age of 90.
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Above, filmmaker Tyler Gildin with his grandfather, Herb, at the family home in Delray Beach, Florida last year. Gildin told DailyMail.com that he always knew his grandfather had a backstory, but it wasn’t until Herb gave a eulogy for his older sister, Cele, in February 2017 that he realized he needed to chronicle Herb’s history. He said: ‘As soon as we left that funeral… I felt how I have not captured this before’
Three months later, Gildin was able to devote his time and energy to the project. ‘Once my job situation changed that May I immediately began to work on this project,’ he recalled. With his cousin Alex and a crew, Gildin interviewed Herb and Gloria and filmed for a full day. He started digging into his grandfather’s story. ‘There was so many pieces I didn’t know – that was when I got excited.’ Above, Herb and Gloria Gildin, Tyler and his wife, Zara, and their son Brody
Herb Gildin was the youngest of three, born in Germany in 1929. He grew up in Landsberg with his older sisters Cele and Margaret. His father, Abraham, a shoemaker, was from Russia, and his mother, Fanny, had come from Latvia. Landsberg was a ‘small, pretty city,’ and until Kristallnacht on November 9, 1938, he had a typical upbringing.
‘I think Kristallnacht is when everything kind of changed,’ Herb recalls in the documentary.
On the ‘Night of Broken Glass,’ Nazis rounded up Jews – almost 100 were killed and thousands sent to concentration camps – and destroyed homes, businesses and synagogues. While Adolf Hitler had been chancellor since 1933, that night marked a violent turning point. World War II began when Hitler invaded Poland on September 1, 1939.
Herb remembers being taken to a gymnasium with other Jews that night and while his father was detained at the police station, he was eventually released. When the family arrived home, his father’s store window had been broken.
‘It was the beginning of a terrible change; it was no longer a normal family,’ Herb told DailyMail.com in March last year. ‘We were ostracized because of our religion – and it was the beginning of a very difficult time.’
In the documentary, Herb explains that his father thought they would be ok in Germany, but soon the family’s passports were labeled ‘statslos,’ which meant they were stateless. ‘There was no place for us to go,’ he recalls.
Above, the Gildin family: Fanny, Herb, Cele, Margaret and Abraham. In the documentary, The Starfish, Herb recalls how he had a typical upbringing in Landsberg, Germany until Kristallnacht on November 9, 1938. ‘I think Kristallnacht is when everything kind of changed,’ Herb recalls in the documentary. On the ‘Night of Broken Glass,’ Nazis rounded up Jews – almost 100 were killed and thousands sent to concentration camps – and destroyed homes, businesses and synagogues
Herb explains that while his father thought they would be ok in Germany, the family’s passports were labeled ‘statslos,’ which meant they were stateless. ‘There was no place for us to go,’ he recalls. An organization called HIAS found three families in Falun, Sweden that would take in Herb, 10, Margaret, 12, and Cele, 14, Above, Herb with a bicycle in Sweden
Herb was first placed with an older couple but was unhappy. Eventually he found a home with the Silow family: the father, Alvar, was a curator and librarian, and the mother, Signe, was a well-known artist. The couple had three children, Sven, Mivie and Agneta. ‘They were a great great family,’ Herb recalls. ‘It was an interesting life – went to school on skis. Learned Swedish.’ Above, Herb, third from left, with the Silow family at Christmas
Herb, middle, spent two years with his foster Swedish family before he and his sisters made the difficult journey to the United States to be reunited with their parents in Brooklyn. Last year, Herb told DailyMail.com about keeping in touch with them: ‘The sad thing is, after a couple of years, I wrote less, spoke less.’ But in 2001, 60 years after leaving Sweden, Herb went back to see those who helped him, including Agneta, right, who signed her letters to him as his ‘Swedish sister’
Enter HIAS. Founded as the Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society in 1881 to help Jews escape from the pogroms in Russia and Eastern Europe, the nonprofit found Herb, 10, Margaret, 12, and Cele, 14, non-Jewish families to stay with in the town of Falun, Sweden. ‘When I think about it, what a terrible decision for parents to have to make to give up your children so that they will survive,’ he says in the documentary.
His older sister, Cele, became the caretaker and helped Herb and Margaret while they traveled to Sweden. Herb was first placed with an older couple but was unhappy. Eventually he found a home with the Silow family: the father, Alvar, was a curator and librarian, and the mother, Signe, was a well-known artist. The couple had three children, Sven, Mivie and Agneta.
‘They were a great great family,’ Herb recalls. ‘It was an interesting life – went to school on skis. Learned Swedish.’
Meanwhile, his parents were able to immigrate to the United States and they went to live in Brooklyn, where his mother’s brother lived. While Herb wanted to rejoin his parents, nonetheless, he had a happy life in Sweden and had grown close to Agneta.
‘When this family took us in, it was a lifetime commitment. You must understand, the probability of my parents ever leaving Germany and us being able to join them again was probably zero,’ he told DailyMail.com last year. ‘We beat the odds, and ultimately we were able to come to the US – but that didn’t happen too often.’
In January 1941, HIAS helped the three Gildin children leave Sweden to go to the United States. But because of the war raging, they traveled a route that took them by train from Finland to Russia, and then by ship from Japan – this was before the Axis power bombed Pearl Harbor – to Seattle. The around six-week voyage was tough, Herbs recalls. ‘We made it. Luggage did not.’
But the trek was not over: they still had to make it across the country to get to New York City.
Those first years in Brooklyn were difficult, Herb explains, and he spoke German and Swedish but no English. His father now worked in a shoe factory and his mother started sewing. But he soon learned the language. ‘I think I integrated so well into the American way of life.’
Cele got married in 1948, Margaret in 1950, and Herb was drafted due to the Korean War and sent to serve in the Mississippi National Guard in 1951. On a getaway to a lodge, Herb recalls: ‘We went there and then I saw at a ping pong table this beautiful blonde.’
‘He was good looking and he had a sharp blue suit,’ his future wife, Gloria, says in the documentary.
After Herb and his sisters made it to Brooklyn, the first few years in a new country were not easy. He spoke German and Swedish but no English. His father now worked in a shoe factory and his mother started sewing. But he soon learned the language. ‘I think I integrated so well into the American way of life.’ During the Korean War, Herb was drafted and sent to serve in the Mississippi National Guard in 1951. On a getaway to a lodge, Herb recalls: ‘We went there and then I saw at a ping pong table this beautiful blonde.’ His future wife, Gloria, says in the documentary: ‘He was good looking and he had a sharp blue suit’
Gloria and Herb married in 1955 and had two children, Billy and Mindy. Herb was working with his brother-in-law, Lou, Margaret’s husband, at his diary store on Blake Avenue in Brooklyn, and became his partner after borrowing money from the government through an army loan. ‘When I first married Gloria, we worked probably 18 hours a day seven days a week,’ Herb says. Above, the couple at their home in Delray Beach, Florida last year
The pair married in 1955 and had two children, Billy and Mindy. Herb was working with his brother-in-law, Lou, Margaret’s husband, at his diary store on Blake Avenue in Brooklyn, and became his partner after borrowing money from the government through an army loan.
‘When I first married Gloria, we worked probably 18 hours a day seven days a week,’ Herb says.
In around the mid-1960s, Herb decided to do something other than the grocery business and with his wife, Gloria, sister, Margaret, and her husband, Lou, they started a lighting business, calling it Sattelight Wholesalers, which would eventually become the successful corporation, Satco. ‘We persevered and people liked us and year by year, we grew and developed the business,’ Herb says.
And while Herb didn’t divulge too much about his past to his children, his daughter Mindy started digging. Sixty years after he had left Sweden, Herb went to Falun and reconnected with Agneta, who was like a sister to him.
In July 2001, video shows the families reuniting, and at a celebratory dinner, Herb tells the starfish story. Tyler Gildin, who was 13 at the time and at summer camp, wasn’t on that trip to Sweden. ‘This would be my way of contributing to that story,’ he said. ‘I hadn’t really seen that footage.’
Gildin knew that he wanted to both start and end the documentary with the parable, which became the film’s title as well. His grandfather, who died in May last year, was stern but also very loving and caring, he said.
The moral of the starfish story is that a difference can be made for one person and that can have ripple effects, Gildin said, adding that he may not be here today if not for those who helped his grandfather.
Above, a poster for the documentary, The Starfish. Filmmaker Tyler Gildin told DailyMail.com that it debuted at the Miami Jewish Film Festival in January last year. His grandfather, Herb, died after its completion on May 19, 2019 at the age of 90, and Gildin added that information at the end of his film. Gildin told DailyMail.com: ‘I’ve watched it several times since and it’s been very difficult’