Psychologist mother-of-two shares her tips for parents quarantined at home with their children

A psychologist and mother-of-two has shared her tips for parents who are struggling to homeschool their children and manage their anxieties while quarantined amid the coronavirus pandemic. 

Speaking with DailyMailTV from her New York City home, Dr. Alli Kert, 43, assured parents that ‘it is OK not to be on your A-game’ as they try to adjust to the new normal in their households.  

‘I think first and foremost we need to manage our expectations,’ she advised. ‘Keep in mind that the routine is there to help structure our day, not to create stress.’

Dr. Kert said her own children get up and get dressed every morning as if they were going to school. They have a small family meeting at 8:30 a.m. to discuss their game plan before starting their day. 

‘There are days where it goes swimmingly and other days where everyone seems to be getting very frustrated,’ she explained. ‘So we just try and take a beat when that happens.’ 

While many people are stressing about their children’s schooling at home, the psychologist noted that children will be likely to learn more from how their parents navigate the global crisis.  

‘The most valuable lessons during all this will less likely be from the remote learning and will more likely be from observing how we recover from our less-than-stellar moments as parents,’ she said. ‘We need to be flexible both for ourselves and for our kids.’  

Dr. Kert shared that she has been less stringent with her kids’ screen time over the past month, and she suggested other parents would benefit from following suit. 

‘My kids are on screens a lot more than they ever are,’ she admitted, noting that they have also been given access to a lot more educational programming.  

‘I think we need to be flexible and also provide certain allowances for our kids that we may not have ordinarily allowed.’

She did, however, stress that parents should still be ‘vigilant’ about what their children ‘are doing and watching online.’  

Dr. Kert also shared advice on how parents can manage their children’s anxiety during these trying times, insisting that there is ‘no right way to feel.’  

‘I think our kids are hearing a lot of scary things right now,’ she said. 

‘So we want to help them understand that while these things can happen, that doesn’t mean they will happen.’

She warned that parents should try and avoid having news shows on in communal areas of the home during the pandemic.  

‘Exposing our kids to the constant news cycle, whether it’s online or on a TV in the background, can really exacerbate any anxiety they might be having,’ she explained. 

Dr. Kert has found creative ways to keep the lines of communication open with her own children and help ease their fears.  

‘We’ve been having family game nights, which is really nice, and cooking competitions,’ she said. 

‘We’re acknowledging how worrisome this can be for them, while at the same time assuring them that we’re doing everything we can to try and keep our family safe.’

She also suggested that parents ask questions such as ‘What do you think this is about?’ and ‘Why do you think we’re here’ to gather information and find out what they have been hearing.

As for teenagers, she said it’s important ‘to give them the space they need,’ while also ‘being available to them when they’re ready to connect.’

Dr. Kert said one of the best things parents can do if they sense their child is struggling with fear is to temper their own anxieties.   

‘I think one of the ways we can help manage our kids’ anxieties is being aware of our own anxieties, so that, when we are with our kids, we can be a calm version of ourselves.’