Teen Mom 2 star Leah Messer considered suicide as daughter Aliannah battled muscular dystrophy

Teen Mom 2 star Leah Messer says she once considered taking her own life on a drive as one of her daughters faced a daunting health battle with muscular dystrophy.

The 27-year-old reality star, in her new book Hope, Grace & Faith, opens up about the harrowing incident, in which she said she thought about navigating her vehicle off of a cliff in her native West Virginia.

The reality star is mother to three kids: 10-year-old twins Aliannah and Aleeah (with ex-husband Corey Simms) and seven-year-old daughter Adalynn (with ex-husband Jeremy Calvert).

Messer opened up about the turmoil she faced as a parent watching her beloved daughter in a critical health battle.

‘When I think about Ali, I just want to know why this is happening to her,’ Messer wrote in the book, in excerpts from US. ‘She is so sweet and innocent. She deserves to have the same future as her sisters.

‘I want to scream at the world that it isn’t fair. I would never wish what Ali has on another child, but why her? Why did she have to be born into a body that won’t have the strength to run along the beach, do a cartwheel, or climb a tree?’

Messer explained how analyzing her daughter’s difficult circumstance tricked down into impacting her own health.

‘I’m so sad and angry all the time I can barely eat … or sleep … or breathe,’ she said. ‘I feel like I’m suffocating. When I close my eyes at night, the voice in my head gets stuck in an endless loop.’

Messer said that amid the fatigue, she began to wonder if her child’s ailment was a result of bad karma.

‘Is it my fault? Is Ali being punished because I’m a bad person?’ she said. ‘Am I doing enough to get her the help she needs? Do I even deserve to be her mother? Maybe the girls would be better off without me.’

Messer said she got in her vehicle on a night she was by herself and came close to tragedy.

‘I don’t even remember getting into my car. I just know that I can barely see the road through the tears streaming down my face,’ she wrote. ‘I glance back over my shoulder at the three, crumb-covered car seats behind me. Except for Addie’s sippy cup, they’re empty … it’s just me in the car.’

She continued, ‘I press my foot down on the gas and watch as the needle on the speedometer goes from 80 … to 90 … to 110 mph. It’s dark and there’s no one else on road. I’ve driven down this stretch of Mink Shoals Hill a thousand times.

‘There’s a steep cliff off the side of the road just up ahead. It would be so easy to drive my car over the edge. Then it would all be over. No more worries. No more failure. No more pain.’

Thankfully, fate intervened and Messer was able to have an emotional release instead of veering into tragedy.

‘Instead, I slow down and pull over to the side of the road,’ she wrote. ‘I turn off the engine and put my head down on the steering wheel. A lifetime of tears comes pouring out of the deepest part of my soul.’

‘I take a deep breath and a calming stillness settles over me. It’s like I was in the middle of a violent thunderstorm, then suddenly the clouds parted and now everything is bathed in a warm light.’

She said that she realized her daughters need her and that ‘it would be selfish to abandon them.’

‘For better or worse, I’m all they have,’ she said. ‘I need to be stronger. I need to get the hell out of here and fix myself, so I can be the mother that my daughters deserve.’

If you or anyone you know needs to talk, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or click here.