Meghan’s got the upper hand: The Duchess of Sussex is always reaching out to touch Harry

Every couple has their secret codes — whether it’s pulling a particular expression to signal that you want to go home, or the touch of a hand on an arm when one partner needs extra reassurance.

But when you’re in the public eye together, being able to communicate non-verbally is perhaps more vital than ever.

Harry and Meghan look as if they have got it down to a fine art, with a series of well-practised touches that seem to signal exactly how one wants the other to behave.

Their last series of engagements as senior royals have been no exception. At London’s Mansion House last week, where the couple attended the annual Endeavour Fund Awards, Meghan expertly manoeuvred her husband out of the way so she could speak to another woman.

First she put her hand on his shoulder and then gently pulled him back so she could move forward. Cue Harry putting his hand to his wife’s back to usher her past.

There were enough non-verbal signals that the couple could have been standing on a flight deck, directing planes.

And as these pictures show, not only do they have a long history of signalling to each other through touch, it’s also far from the first time Harry — under his wife’s guidance — has let her take the lead.

Here we take a look at the other unspoken gestures that are putting Meghan firmly in the driving seat.

Secret control in the ‘pat of power’  

This gesture was on display both on the way to, and inside, the Endeavour Fund Awards last week, where Meghan guided Harry to address fans waiting in the rain. A hand on the back is subtle — but can be a directional tool.

‘This is a parental, partially nurturing gesture that also implies a desire to control or steer,’ says body language expert Judi James.

‘In politics, it is known as the ‘Pat of Power’, where the one doing the patting raises their status by lowering the other.’ Meghan’s hand was firmly on her husband’s back as they attended a reception in South Africa last October, visited Birkenhead in January last year and even as far back as their first engagement as a married couple, at a Buckingham Palace garden party.

She also placed a hand on Harry’s back as he carried baby Archie to his first appearance in front of the cameras — a gesture of maternal approval. 

Doting double clasp hints at ownership  

Why just hold a hand, when you can hold his arm, too? Meghan and Harry are never afraid to eschew the unwritten royal rule about public displays of affection to seek the other’s supportive presence.

But it’s the hand on arm that takes this pose to another level. ‘It adds proximity to a hand-hold and suggests she is still besotted and in the romantic stages of love,’ says Judi James. Meghan and Harry adopted this pose at Kensington Palace after announcing their engagement, the bride-to-be drawing her beau to her side.

Visiting Morocco, Australia and South Africa, the signature gesture was there again.

Judi adds: ‘Meghan doubles the closeness signals by implying ownership, as well as ensuring she is uppermost in Harry’s mind.’

Upper arm grab that subtly signals ‘wait!’ 

When you are standing still, holding hands isn’t really a practical option.

Instead, Meghan and Harry adopt the hand to upper arm touch (he did it protectively while she was pregnant). She deployed it as she arrived for the Mountbatten Festival of Music at the Royal Albert Hall on Saturday, far right.

In the world of body language, it’s a stalling gesture, like a mum might make to stop her child running off while she’s chatting at the school gate.

‘It’s a gentle signal of ‘Wait!’ when Meghan wants to chat longer to a host, or even to join in a conversation Harry is having,’ says Judi.

‘Grasping his bicep can also seem flattering rather than bossy.’