Evangeline Lilly labels 2019 a ‘rough year’ and candidly reflects on her private breakdown

Evangeline Lily has reached out to fans for support, saying a ‘rough year’ had ‘broke’ her.

Saying she ‘felt alone and unseen’, she shared her private battles in an emotional Instagram post.

‘I had such a rough year last year, ‘ the Lost star said, explaining that she had kept her struggle private because she didn’t want to make people ‘sad’. 

‘I struggle deeply with feeling that all I ever am is what I feel everyone else wants and needs me to be,’ she wrote. ‘I often feel alone and unseen.’

The actress said she had always felt she was strong enough to deal with her issues on her own.

Evangeline wrote: ‘I kept it all inside, kept it to myself, and made space in there to hold your pain, too. Publicly, I hid and made light of my deepest traumas and laughed in the face of my most profound pain.’

But things had got too much for her to handle alone. 

‘Until, last year, I broke. Suddenly I was forced to face my weakness and my limitations, my trauma and fears. I was left with no choice but to accept that I am limited or…carry on down a road of perfectionist denial that would inevitably kill me.’

The 40-year-old said things were now improving.

‘I am coming out of that deep place, slowly. As I start to breathe the fresh air, as I start to find my new, limited footing, I feel disconnected from you. I feel it’s pointless to share the light when you don’t know my darkness. I feel lost and apathetic about this space we share.’

And she asked her fans: ‘Would you have wanted to come along in my darkness had I shared it?’

Evangeline shared two images from a year ago with her post.

In them, a dark haired Evangeline can be seen sitting on the floor of her living area with visibly tired eyes and an eerily thin frame.

Lilly noted that her four-year-old son, whom she shares with long term partner Norman Kali, had captured the glum portraits.